Remember - the universe does not care

After reading this article, you’ll learn:

1. What is the spotlight effect.

2. Why you should know about it.

3. How to overcome it.

Imagine you’re giving a great presentation and suddenly you fumble. You feel like everyone will forget your presentation and remember only your fumbling.

Or maybe you hesitated to wear a funky t-shirt, worrying what unknown people in the street would think about you?

If these examples resonate with you, you know it feels like an invisible spotlight follows you everywhere, magnifying your mistakes, and like everyone is always watching you.

This is a cognitive bias called the spotlight effect.

Ok, but why should I know about this?

In today’s hyper-connected world, there is more importance on the image rather than the real. The spotlight effect can cause multiple negative consequences if you do not understand what’s going on.

1. Low creativity.

   Say I like to paint, but am scared of posting my work online, fearing that people will laugh at it. How can I grow?

   In my mind, I may be the best painter in the world. But without showing my work to others, there’s no use.

   Remember, despite rejections from 12 publishers, J.K Rowling persisted with the Harry Potter series. Now the whole world knows about it.

2. Being a sellout.

   Everyone is unique. We have our own thoughts, ideas and personality. But we fear authenticity as the world may laugh at us. This is a self - imposed prison.

   Jim Carey struggled with this early in his career. The breakthrough came when he embraced his authentic self and unique comedy style.

   He broke constraints and gave us gems such as “the mask” and “dumb and dumber”.

3. Low self - esteem.

   Doubt is a jail we build for ourselves. If you think people are watching and judging you always, your self - esteem will be low.

   Did you know that Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson faced the same? He channeled his insecurities into building his body & developing his personality.

4. More social anxiety.

   This can become a disease. Anxiety and depression are the pandemics today. Spotlight effect can add fuel to this fire.

   The singer Adele suffered with stage fright and anxiety, despite having yan amazing voice and being immensely talented. She used visualization and deep breathing to overcome these.

5. Missed opportunities.

   Always afraid of failure and what other people may say, you will run in the same circles and never try anything new. A 1000 opportunities will be missed, and you will never know where those could have led you.

   In 2017, Mark Cavendish, a British professional cyclist went through many health issues and setbacks and even missed the next Tour de France because of this.

   Many people including the cycling community doubted if this was the end. But Mark overcame everything and achieved one of the most remarkable comebacks in sports history.

   In the 2021 race, he won 4 stages and is now tied with Eddie Merckx for the most number of stage wins in the Tour (34).

How to overcome the spotlight effect?

1. Understand that no one cares.

   The most important mindset shift. People are too busy with their own lives to care about you. This should be liberating.

2. Celebrate small wins.

   Focus on what you’ve achieved till now.

   Nailed the presentation? Awesome!

   Crushing it at work? Great!

   Able to do 10 push ups? Superb!

3. Embrace imperfections.

   Kintsugi is a Japanese art form that involves repairing broken pottery with gold. The idea is that by embracing flaws and imperfections, you can create a stronger, more beautiful piece of art. Understand this beautiful philosophy.

4. Don’t be too harsh on yourself.

   Relax. Don’t beat yourself up for silly stuff. Everyone makes mistakes. We’re all human. Learn from your failures and put systems in place to not repeat them.

5. Mindfulness.

   Learn deep breathing and meditation to stay in the moment. This will help you focus on the work rather on what other others think.

Hope this helps you understand the spotlight effect.

And if so, share the article with your friends and family.

Further reading

• The Spotlight Effect and Social anxiety.

• Why do we feel like we stand out more than we really do?